Anger is one of the most common emotions that we feel from time to time due to many reasons. Oxford Dictionary defines anger as “a strong feeling that you have when something has happened that you think is bad and unfair.” Anger is a very strong emotion, if left unchecked, can lead to sadness or even a psychological health disorder. Moreover, it can cause you to act irrationally or aggressively, which can result in social isolation and other severe health problems. Meanwhile, when you don’t deal with anger appropriately, you can end up hurting yourself and the people around you. That’s why anger management can be a helpful tool to calm down your anger and prevent further harm from happening.
Anger is a natural and adaptive response mechanism against threats we face in our daily lives. It stirs powerful, often aggressive feelings and behaviors, which help us to fight and defend ourselves when we are under attack, for instance. Despite being a negative feeling, we require a certain amount of anger for our survival. We’ll be discussing about anger management further down in more detail.
Types of Anger
Depending on different personalities, anger can differ from person to person. That is to say, not everyone reacts to anger in the same way. Although, you can find lots of different types of anger out there on the internet, mainly there are 3 types of anger that you need to know.
1. Justifiable Anger
Justifiable anger is a type of anger that you feel with a sense of moral outrage. As its name suggests, you feel this kind of anger when something ethically wrong happens and the anger seems reasonable.
Generally, you feel justifiable anger towards the injustices of the world. For example, when you see violence or cruelty towards an animal, you feel angry, or more specifically you feel justifiable anger.
2. Annoyance Anger
This is the most common type of anger most of us feel. Annoyance anger can mostly occur from a number of frustrations in our daily lives. For instance, when another driver honks at you repeatedly when you’re late for work, your boss throws his unnecessary tantrums at you, your partner said something insensible, and so on. Therefore, when you focus on the negative aspect more and take other people’s words and actions negatively, you feel annoyance anger.
3. Temper Anger
This type of anger can be defined as an irrelevant explosion of anger when an individual’s self-centered needs and desires are not fulfilled. Generally, temper anger can often be seen in one’s childhood and is normally a part of a child’s developing and growing process. Temper tantrums are often focused on those whose words and actions do not really deserve such emotional rage. However, some people never outgrow their tantrums and continue to unleash them even after they become adults.
Anger Management Therapy
Anger management therapy is an objective-oriented healing approach that targets the emotional response to external aspects that cause anger in human beings. However, various elements such as the location, number of sessions, length of sessions, and even whether the sessions are individual or group vary depending on individual circumstances.
When you experience difficulty moving past feelings of anger, then anger management therapy can act as a very useful tool. In other words, when anger with an individual, condition, or idea starts to affect other areas of a person’s life, then it is often beneficial to participate in some kind of anger management therapy to learn how to control anger.
Anger Management Exercises
Anger management therapy particularly focuses on helping you overcome an emotional blockade. The goal of the anger management therapy is to help you recognize and conquer the factors that cause emotional stress, especially the factors that cause hyper-emotional reactions like anger.
Common exercises you can implement during anger management therapy include:
- Breathing techniques
- Increased self-awareness
- Emotional awareness
- Relaxation strategies
- Personal reflection
- Impulse control
5 Tips to Control Anger
Anger is a very normal feeling and it can be a positive emotion if it’s directed in a productive manner. However, anger can become dangerous if it leads to aggression, outbursts, or even physical injuries. Therefore, controlling anger is necessary to help you calm down and move forward positively.
So, here are the 5 ways you can control your anger:
1. Go for a walk
Doing regular exercise is very effective at reducing stress and anxiety in your body. When you do physical exercises, it automatically shifts your focus from anger to the exercise. So, if you’re feeling angry, you can quickly get rid of it by taking a walk, or a short run. The goal here is to move your body to throw that anger out of your body.
2. Take a deep breath
When you feel angry, your breathing becomes intense and speeds up as you grow angry. One easy way to prevent that from happening is to take slow and deep breaths. So, breathe slowly from your nose and exhale out of your mouth. This helps you to slow down your breathing, brings your heart rate to normal, and consequently calms your body and reduces your anger.
3. Loosen your muscles
This is one of the common causes that result in stress and anger. When your muscles are all tight and rigid, your body can’t function properly, thus leading to anger. So, go to a massage parlor or ask someone to massage your tensed body areas like neck, shoulders, and back. This will not only make your pain go away but will also help you in controlling your anger.
4. Write it down
This is a very common anger management strategy that lots of people use and find helpful. When you’ve got a lot on your mind, you get overwhelmed and feel angry. But, when you write those feelings down on a paper, it allows you to express your feelings more freely. So, writing what you’re feeling can help you calm down and cope with anger.
5. Listen to music
Music is not only for dancing and celebrating. It can be a very useful tool to help you control your anger. According to a recent study, people who listen to calming music regularly tend to feel less anger than those who don’t listen to music. So, play some soothing tunes the next time you’re feeling angry.
Some Best Anger Management Quotes:
“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”
― Ambrose Bierce
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
“Never respond to an angry person with a fiery comeback, even if he deserves it…Don’t allow his anger to become your anger.”
― Bohdi Sanders
“Do not let your anger lead to hatred, as you will hurt yourself more than you would the other.”
― Stephen Richards
it takes seconds to control your anger,
only to avoid the state of an eternal feud.”
― Toba Beta
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What causes anger?
There are many common triggers for anger, such as losing your patience, feeling as if your opinion or efforts aren’t appreciated, and injustice. Other causes of anger include memories of traumatic or enraging events and worrying about personal problems.
What emotion is behind anger?
Common emotions known to trigger anger are anxiety, shame, sadness, fear, frustration, guilt, disappointment, worry, embarrassment, jealousy, and hurt. All of these emotions are experienced as negative and are perceived as threatening to our well-being.
What are the signs of anger issues?
You may have anger issues if:
- you feel angry often
- you feel that your anger seems out of control
- your anger is impacting your relationships
- your anger is hurting others
- your anger causes you to say or do things you regret
- you’re verbally or physically abusive
What is the best medication for anger?
Antidepressants such as Prozac, Celexa, and Zoloft are commonly prescribed for anger issues. These drugs do not specifically target anger within the body, but they do have a calming effect that can support control of rage and negative emotion.
Are anger issues genetic?
The short answer is that anger can run in families, and genetics can indeed play a role, which might help to explain your angry
inclinations. However, there’s another significant factor that can lead to kids adopting angry tendencies from their relatives: learned behavior.